I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
