it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
