We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
