I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
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