After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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