Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
