so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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