so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
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she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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