I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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