i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
