so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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