why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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