He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i've created a new STD.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
