Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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