i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
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She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
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Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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