Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize