hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
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When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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