So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I didn't notice because vodka
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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