she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
