Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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