I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
