Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize