There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
