The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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