i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
