he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
