mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
