Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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