worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
