apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
