Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize