carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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