Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
