how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
