I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
