Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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