I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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