were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
