I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm really into asian looking animals
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
