bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
