Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
