I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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