So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
