He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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