a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
