There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize