The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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