I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
