I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
