i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
