we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
