i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
