Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
