Porn is love you can see.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
