Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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