If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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