tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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