i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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