Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
