he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
