I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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