If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
