Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
