The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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