So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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