So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
