So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
