I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
